Life after maternity leave

So being back at work has changed life dramatically - there are no more sneaky afternoon naps with Olivia, no more picnics or walks with other mums and babies and no more wasting time watching my daughter as she discovers new skills. Not during the week anyway, the weekends however are different swimming on Saturdays means we meet up with some other mummy friends who have also returned to work so we can compare stories! It also means we can play in bed together rather than me getting up and getting ready for work hoping she doesn't wake until I am ready to feed her and give her morning cuddles.

In the three weks I have been back Olivia has changed so much she is such a smiley girl who has just learnt to clap - if you say clap she waves her arms up and down and then claps! She is also saying "dadada" repeatedly and we are getting so many more smiles and giggles at random things. We used to have to work very hard for these.

Work is manic and I never reallt know what I am doing from one day to the next but the days go so quickly and soon it will be the summer holidays. back to afternoon naps, eeting friends and generally having lots of fun with Olivia.

Back to work!

I have just completed my first week back after maternity leave - Olivia is now 7 months old. As my previous post I had a mixture of emotions but I survived. I'm tired but it feels like I have never been away.

I arrived at school on the first day not knowing what I would be doing turns out no one else knew what I was doing as nobody had heard if the teacher that had been off sick was returning or not! However as she wasn't in and is usually one of the first in we assumed she was still off sick - so I enter the year 4 classroom - I have taught this class for the past 2 years so I know what I'm in for - no planning. First day back and I have to teach off the cuff and then go home and plan the rest of the week.

End of the school day then have staff meeting it appears lots of decisions have been made whilst I have been off and the good news is I have been offered the job out of class running the reading recovery program and covering some PPA teaching science (my specialism. This is what I wanted and I'm really pleased that I can develop my career in this way.

This week has been tough - long hours, bad behaviour and catching up but it has been worth it to see how excited Olivia is when I walk through the door at night. She has been very well behaved for her daddy and is taking her formula milk like a pro and has even managed to only wake once at night the past 2 nights!

Daddy is tired and has admitted he didn't realise how tiring it would be looking after a 7 month old. He is however loving spending time with his daughter without me interfering.

Now a lovely weekend to spend as much time as I an with my beautiful girl before the whirlwind starts again next week.

Nearly all over

So this is my last week of maternity leave. I start back as a full time teacher as of Tuesday. How do I feel?

Well I'm OK about returning to work, I don't think I'm cut out to be a full time stay at home mum although I am envious of those that are and admire how hard it is. I'm going to miss meeting up with my mummy friends although there are three of us returning to work at the same time. I am also sad that other people will be spending more time with Olivia than me and possibly seeing her crawl, walk, talk etc. before me. She has changed so much in the past few months and is an absolute pleasure to be with her smiles and giggles melt my heart and I really am going to miss these.

Going to nursery will allow Olivia to watch and learn from other children. She has been going for one afternoon a week for a while now so she is quite use to the environment and it is a bonus that my sister is her key worker. The other days she will either spend with Daddy, Grandma or my other sister - so she will be cared for by people who love her but it's not me! I have to let go and trust that she will be OK and they will respect our wishes about how we want Olivia to be looked after.

The next few weeks are going to be easier because Mr T has two weeks off so he can look after Olivia then we start getting into what will become normal life. We are lucky in that the nursery will work round Mr T's shifts and also do term time only so I can spend as much time as I want with Olivia during the school holidays.

So I am ready to return to work and get stuck into teaching again how I will cope with the workload as well as being a Mummy I'm not sure but teaching for me now is a job rather than a career. I have to wait until I go back to find out what I am teaching as it all depends on whether one of the teachers is back off sick leave or not. If she is not back I will be teaching her class if she is back I will be team teaching with the great teacher who did my maternity cover. I like the idea of this as I think I could learn an awful lot from this teacher and we could do some great creative projects with the children.

So how am I feeling? Sad, apprehensive, excited, jealous and many other emotions all at the same time - is this normal?